Sparks to Dust

The 'adult life' isn't all what it's cracked up to be.

It all just seems so exciting when you're in middle school. "Oh, I can't wait until I can drive!" "I can't wait until I can finally get a cellphone!" "I can't wait until I turn 18 and can finally move out!"

The funny part is, we spend the first 21 years of our lives looking forward to the future.


The sad part is, it's all one colossal load of disappointment.

I've been wanting to grow up ever since I can remember. I'd think of how nice it would be to turn 18 and finally be able to drive, pick my friends up and maybe go on some road trip. I would smile at the thought of myself behind the steering wheel and imagine how grown up, mature, and independent I would be.

I'm now 19 and those feelings of enthusiasm and eagerness have been flushed away with every waking moment spent in reality. The fact of the matter is that, miracles don't happen when you turn 18. The 18th birthday fairy doesn't appear with her wand and doesn't change circumstances for you at all. You'll jut be sitting there, staring at the lit up candles on your cake, and that will be it. Or you'll be wasted, whichever. Either way, miracles don't happen and circumstances don't change just because the digits that you go by have been altered.

With every wishful moment I spent wanting to drive, I also spent thinking about graduating. At every point in an individual's life, routine gets absolutely tedious. This is why graduating from high school comes with all sorts and different levels of anticipation. The minute thought of moving to a foreign place - it being a new neighborhood, new town, new city or a new country - can send chills down our spine and draw grins on our faces.

Graduating from high school is obviously an exciting event, as we finally take a step out of that system that we've grown so bored and tired of. However, with that graduation ceremony, comes a lot of unfortunate nonsense that we seem to forget about. For example, there is nothing exciting about moving out of your parents' house. Did you forget about the fact that you need to pay your own bills? Did you forget about how you're going to have to do your own grocery shopping and cook your own food? Yes, you can come back home at any time and walk around the house naked, but coming home to an empty house demolishes every element of the word, "home".

We seem to live in an infinite cycle of anticipation that we've solely forgotten how to LIVE. We spend every waking millisecond wishing we could be someone else, do something else, be somewhere different that we completely forget to just sit back and take in the sound of our heartbeat - because we're still ALIVE. 

Us, humans, have a tendency to make ourselves feel absolutely miserable. We forget that everyday brings on a different opportunity and that with time, comes hope.

It's time to appreciate.

A Thought Confession

Have you ever thought about what a thought actually is?
That tiny little voice creeping in your head. Over analyzing things, throwing negative thoughts at you in abundance or maybe even lavishing you with optimistic thinking. Fantasizing about what could be and what can not.
That tiny voice that is yet so minute, but controls every little drop of blood rushing in your system. Every little movement you struggle to shake. That tiny thought dominates more than your heart ever can.

The thing about us, humans, is that we tend to over-analyze everything. We weigh things out a bit too much. We evaluate actions and words like there's no tomorrow.    Why on earth is it that we think we've got all the time in the world? Why is it that we think our mere existence has to be over-exaggerated and blown way out of proportion? Why can't we just take things as we see them instead of letting those surreal little voices creep into our head?!
Maybe because we cannot just shove those voices aside and ask them to let us be. What's existence without a bunch of slurred thoughts haunting you? Isn't it anything but normal to avoid what we keep hearing? What seems to be a poignant call to what could & can not be.

Contemplating whether to trust a person or not can be well played when your head takes over. That individual thought may complicate decisions and whatnot.  I'm not saying that we should by all means, NOT over-think things, but to take it easy and let things flow smoothly. 

Go with the flow. 

Nearly Blind

For some reason, I always feel like starting my blogs out with, "What just crossed my mind was...". Well, not this time. Aha.

Have you ever noticed how fast-paced everything is? Everybody is running around, not actually paying attention to what's right in front of them, or listening to what people say.
I believe that everyone is basically living in their own world. Barely finding any time to actually think about the things that happen around them. Sudden deaths, abrupt incidents. Everything seems so catastrophic nowadays.
I saw this picture on tumblr today. This guy was holding a newspaper that was more or less blank, but had a couple of sentences on it. Here's what it said:

"Some country wants more power and money. Some country was bombed. Some man wants more power and money."
Spot-on! It's so true. The sad fact here is, though, that we're too busy to notice. We're just running around, trying so hard to get through the day. Loving every second we get to simply lie in bed.
I don't know..I just feel like we should pay attention to what's around us.

I mean, I'm pretty sure you know what's happening in the world, but do you really KNOW? I'm not even sure I do, I'm just 16 years old. I'm not some experienced old aged woman, but from what I've seen, we need to pay more attention.

A lot goes on. Most of it happens right in front of us. For example, when you see a homeless man, what comes to your head? I bet some of you are thinking, "Some broke ass dude who lost his job or never tried getting one. Spends his time drinking and picking up trash." Who knows, that might be the case. But sometimes, it's more than that. That homeless man is also a human being. He might have been mistreated, misunderstood, or just simply, he could have been in the wrong place at the wrong time. You never really know.

Us, as human beings, tend to take things at face value. We're almost inclined to believe everything we hear/see. We're sometimes not given a choice. Not really by society, but by our minds. We find it a lot easier to see things in black and white.

I have no idea why this came to me, but I just thought I'd share it..I know it seems kind of confusing, but what I'm trying to say is that, we should give ourselves a break from everything sometimes, and actually sit there and really think things through.

Usage of Language

Some of us can be good with words, some of us just cannot.
What just crossed my mind a while ago was, we all have our own way of communicating. I mean, as you have noticed, some people may use a lot of swear words as compared to others.
Also, people may have different ways of arguing. The majority may try to yell louder in comparison to the others and the minority may possibly lower their voice. Several people might just let the opposing party win because they absolutely hate arguing. I, for one, elude from arguments.

What I want to point out is that, some people use unnecessary words, make insensitive comments that are completely uncalled for. For example, a little Facebook comment here and there, just criticizing a person for doing absolutely nothing. Or maybe a few comments made at school. About that individual being of a certain race, or looking the way they do. What some people don't understand is the resounding chorus they go home with. The clear wounding words creeping into their head when they look at themselves in the mirror. The hurtful words echoing back at them when they're about to run for something.

What people don't understand is how hurtful, painful, spiteful, torturous, words can be.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." I clearly know what this means, but I just wanted to google it for you guys. This is what I got:
"Prov. You do not hurt me by calling me names. (A reply to someone who has called you names. Primarily used by children; sounds childish when used by adults.)"
So, as you can see, this is is more of a quote used to help kids get through a few 'You're stupid' and childish comments.
Tell me, be frank, does it really have no effect whatsoever? Nothing? Nobody has ever said anything that actually hit that heart of yours?
I'm sure you must have had at least one incident in your life in which someone said something that got to you.

Anyway, think of that and tell me words don't hurt. They certainly do.

Words are significant, be careful how you use them.

People Can Be So Frustrating

I just need to get all this out.

People kind of suck sometimes. They make excuses for absolutely no reason. They feel the need to lie ALL the time. People think being fake is cool. Some people are just so annoying with everything they do. I hate it when people ignore others. People are too confused, it’s frustrating. Some people don’t even have a teeny bit of confidence in them! I’d like it better if you were a narcissistic freak!  Some people try to put others down. No, I’m sorry; it doesn’t make you look better. Just makes you look like a condescending bitch! Some people are so arrogant; I just want to punch them off their high horse. I’m sorry, but you’re NOT always right. Also, the world does NOT revolve around you. Some people need to get over themselves. 

 You know, there just comes a point when you just wanna scream out, 'ENOUGH!'

Yep, I'm at this point. 

But really, don't you ever just feel like yelling everything to everyone's face? It kind of gets tiring just holding it in all the time. Sometimes, when you say hello, you just feel this need tugging at you, just begging you to yell it out. I guess we all get to these low points.

Shit Happens, It's Okay

Sometimes I just sit and wonder about everything we do.
How our actions can be melodramatic, exaggerated, and just not make any sense!
Sometimes we do things on impulse, but have you ever wondered what the whole point of everything was?
For example, why do we fight over silly things? Things that don't really matter. If you think about it, 10 years from now, will it matter? Will it matter who used the laptop more, who wore whose shoes?
I don't get it. I mean, they say life is short, right? Then why can't we appreciate what we have? Or why can't we fathom how lucky we are to still be around. To have the people we have. To appreciate the roof over our head.
Why do we have to go out there and cry about every little thing that causes a stir?
"Oh my God, my dad yelled at me. I hate my life." Ah, no, you don't. You have a dad. He yelled at you cause you're his child and he cares about you. Would you yell at someone you didn't care about?

It gets hard at times, of course it does, but we can't breakdown every single time something happens.
What's life without difficulties anyway?
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, sometimes we just need to tone it down a little bit. Not take everything to the heart and so seriously. Shit happens, it's okay. You'll get over it. Nothing lasts forever.

Distracti-Oh! Looky Here!

I bet the first thing you all do in the morning is-- check your phone! 

We probably spend an average of 5-10 minutes on our phones when we first wake up. 

Then, we're sidetracked by the blinking light of a message, or a phone-call. So, instead of doing things at a normal pace, we simply take our time and text back, or bbm. Technology has done wonders. One of them, is seriously forcing us into laziness. We feel the need to spend extra time in bed because we haven't finished typing, or because that cute guy just bbmed/sent you a text. How are you put it down? 

You can not. 

Which leads to us taking longer than we're supposed to. An average person should be done studying for a quiz in an hour or so. But instead, it takes us 2 hours. Why? Cause we're always sidetracked.

It's not just our phones, it's almost everything. We live in a world surrounded and filled with distractions. 

You're trying to study, and you hear your brother singing. Which leads to you singing that song, then jumping to another, and never getting your studies over with.

For example, I just stopped typing for a minute to check my phone. Isn't that ironic? But really, I'm only human after all.

I think we're all seriously doomed to a lifetime of distractions. Where as, you might even walk into a pole on the street cause you're too busy looking at the blinking light, or a huge eye catching sign.

My question is, can you fathom the control technology has over your life? Not just that, everything. How every minor move or sound is a distraction.

We can't escape this. Unless you wanna live in a Mental House where you're surrounded by pillowed walls and utter silence.