Sparks to Dust

The 'adult life' isn't all what it's cracked up to be.

It all just seems so exciting when you're in middle school. "Oh, I can't wait until I can drive!" "I can't wait until I can finally get a cellphone!" "I can't wait until I turn 18 and can finally move out!"

The funny part is, we spend the first 21 years of our lives looking forward to the future.


The sad part is, it's all one colossal load of disappointment.

I've been wanting to grow up ever since I can remember. I'd think of how nice it would be to turn 18 and finally be able to drive, pick my friends up and maybe go on some road trip. I would smile at the thought of myself behind the steering wheel and imagine how grown up, mature, and independent I would be.

I'm now 19 and those feelings of enthusiasm and eagerness have been flushed away with every waking moment spent in reality. The fact of the matter is that, miracles don't happen when you turn 18. The 18th birthday fairy doesn't appear with her wand and doesn't change circumstances for you at all. You'll jut be sitting there, staring at the lit up candles on your cake, and that will be it. Or you'll be wasted, whichever. Either way, miracles don't happen and circumstances don't change just because the digits that you go by have been altered.

With every wishful moment I spent wanting to drive, I also spent thinking about graduating. At every point in an individual's life, routine gets absolutely tedious. This is why graduating from high school comes with all sorts and different levels of anticipation. The minute thought of moving to a foreign place - it being a new neighborhood, new town, new city or a new country - can send chills down our spine and draw grins on our faces.

Graduating from high school is obviously an exciting event, as we finally take a step out of that system that we've grown so bored and tired of. However, with that graduation ceremony, comes a lot of unfortunate nonsense that we seem to forget about. For example, there is nothing exciting about moving out of your parents' house. Did you forget about the fact that you need to pay your own bills? Did you forget about how you're going to have to do your own grocery shopping and cook your own food? Yes, you can come back home at any time and walk around the house naked, but coming home to an empty house demolishes every element of the word, "home".

We seem to live in an infinite cycle of anticipation that we've solely forgotten how to LIVE. We spend every waking millisecond wishing we could be someone else, do something else, be somewhere different that we completely forget to just sit back and take in the sound of our heartbeat - because we're still ALIVE. 

Us, humans, have a tendency to make ourselves feel absolutely miserable. We forget that everyday brings on a different opportunity and that with time, comes hope.

It's time to appreciate.